Bored....

interesting now that I wrote the "bored" title on this page, I was wondering how many people are actually bored and just write on their blogs, well this seems every so often for me, I have a few blogs but I write either when I feel I have something to say or I am really bored.

Well lately, since my last post ( I guess, I have not checked ) I have been working on SL as usual, today I got a few messages from facebook, that thing looks like my schoolbook, only former classmates. ( high school )

I grew up with them, I was on a school where we all got in kindergarten and we graduated all together, so I really did not have much social interaction outside of high school until I got out of it... well graduated.

After that I had what I thought at the time was a healthy social life, then after some years I realized some parasites just where my friends or """FRIENDS""", to get a ride on the car, sad aint it ?

Anywho after that I had some friends in college, university, I guess that either I am a pain in the ass or those friendships are not worth much, there are a few I still know their whereabouts but that's about it...

I remember I saw one day on TV that when you are young you have an average of 50 friends or so, and as you grow older that number goes down until you are around your 60's and only have around 3 friends... well at the pace I am going It seems that at 65 I'll have no friends lol

actually during my life I did not care much about friends or acquaintances, now that mostly it is me and my GF ( wife, fiancee ), I kinda miss having other people to talk.

there's an issue thou, I have never been easy to speak to, or mostly I can say I have never been the kind of person to open up to others so I bottle up a lot.

I have always said you can know me for years and know a lot of things about me, but never really about me, to some point, a ghost you might say.

you can say a lot of the things I have done but not who I am or what my life is.

I think that even here, I talk a lot about my stuff, by not about myself, sometimes I feel like I want to open up and just say thing right out, but it is hard, even in writing.

someday perhaps.

well thanks for reading see you soon I guess.

agust 21

nice day, tomorrow is my Bday... kool, I never do anything for it, I guess I'm not the type of person that celebrates the fact that another year has passed...

today August 21, it reminded me of a song "Cuando agosto era 21" I'm not going to translate it but it's a very nice song indeed, about an abortion, or like what causes a young girl to abort, mostly the society. I guess life is like that, I'm not pro or against abortion, but I think it has to be seen on a case by case basis, some people can abort, other's can't.

Lately I have been working still on my HTPC ( home theather pc ) it is working now after some modifications, I realized something, what I like of having something like TIVO or a HTPC is mostly the ability to record rewind or pause live TV, all the other things are just icing on the cake, but well that's what is most important for me, I hate to spend my time just watching comercials. I have to say when I am in the right mood to watch commercials I go to youtube and watch them, ,and that's it.

also since my Video Caputre card the Hauppauge 2250 is somewhat new I made a website to centralize my knowledge of it it's : http://hau2250.eslashdot.com/ it does not has a lot of information but at least it has the information I have been able to find around the net.

Also.. I found out a couple of things using MEDIA CENTER for XP, XP MCE, for vista home premium, and for vista home premium code fiji ( the 2008 TV pack )

first where I am located I don't have an EPG, ( electronic programming guide ) ( bummer ) but I can generate one with a program such as TVxb, then using another program ( bladerunner ) you can "inject" the EPG into MCE, it's kool, but it seems that that only works on MCE XP, and MCE vista without the service pack 2008, as soon as you input the service pack 2008, the guide that bladerunner creates DOES NOT WORK with vista. so if you don't have an EPG listing for your card and use XMLTV ( generated by TVxb or anyother software ) don't even worry about installing vista TV pack. the standard changed and it changed a lot !

I analized the stream that was being requested by media center TV pack, in the past it was a guide.bin ( that is known and has been decoded ) but now there it seems to be using a .enc file, I did not even bother to capture the Enc file to try and decode it, because the other BIG problem is not the enc file ( well it could be super encrypted ) but on vista MC, the old one, you could re-set the download URL, and ask it to download the guide locally, so far I have not found where to change it on vista TV PACK, all the registry entries that you normally changed on vista MC to allow the download from another source are not respected by this new TV pack.. so no EPG, really REALLY SUCKS.

now I found out that installing the guide.bin file on vista is a real pain in the ASS, so I am coding an automatic installer / web server for doing it automagically, I think it will be released next week or so. ( depends on my back pain )

I have been working a lot on this ( therefore my back pain ) but at least it's kool to have an outlet from my regular job on Second life.

ty for reading

ok All Done

Ok the surgery was a success, a few hours after it was finished, she was already hearing better, and well even with the surgery she was feeling good.. so well for the next few days I'll be taking care of her ( of course with the help of my GF ( wife ) mom and others around me, but that's fine. )

ok, that's it for that I guess.

I don't recall if I wrote or not on the Veoh thing that I found a way to "bypass" their protection, of course I will not discuss it here, but it actually allowed me to check out netflix "view now" you know netflix live movies "broadcasted" over the net.

yesterday I needed to see something to take my mind out of things so I watched superman, I have to say the quality was not what I expected, I mean, it was not 100% bad and I watched it and enjoyed it, I know for certain that netflix when they analyze your stream to see the quality they should deliver assigns you a quality that is fit for comfortable viewing using your internet speed, but I have that feeling that because of my "trick" I get less speed than what I am supposed to get.

but I also think netflix compression is not the best in the world. why, well for instance the ABC feeds I can watch them in full HD resolution, no skipping or anything. just a great feed, also on joost the images are AWESOME.

that reminds me of something I readed a few days ago about HD and Digital TV.

here where I live we has a HUGE report on a newspaper about the 2009 change to Digital TV in USA. but it was all WRONG.

and speaking with some people it seems that a lot of people have that concept messed up, DIGITAL TV, is not HIGH DEFINITION.

there I said it, but only DIGITAL TV, can have HIGH DEFINITION CONTENT...

now it is interesting where I live I saw something, that I did not know exactly how to explain I do have 3 HD channels, and 5 or so digital channels ( well 5 digital no-hD and 3 digital HD, so 8 digital channels )

anyhow I always scrolled around and saw the normal Analog channels, and they looked like SHIT, but the Digital ones where always crisp sharp, awesome, now the HD channels, well HD is HD.

well going back to what I readed they did a test, showing TV to different people with different qualities.

first the analog one ( the one we have been using since TV started, the yucky one )
of course it is AWEFULL.

then the Digital Broadcasts.

non HD... People loved it, because the image is very clear, and crisp.

HD... the same people love it, because the image is very clear and crisp.

most people did not find a significance difference between HD and non HD.

and well now I do understand that.. HDTV and DIGITAL NON HD TV after a few minutes your eyes think of them almost the same way, of course with HD you get to see things more clear, with more detail, but as we all know our brain when it has too much detail tends to just "remove" detail, because things would get very messy if we retained all that detail ( for more info about that look about researches on the savants, or savant syndrome, Google is your friend. )

So it makes me wonder when you first experience HD it is like WOW, but after a few minutes it is just... the same I guess, ( not the same as analog but the same as non HD )

So is HD too much for our senses, and we en up wasting "bandwidth" on something that we would never really get to appreciate, that makes me wonder really.

but I have to say one thing that since Internet Television, is delivered via digital, ( either HD or non HD ) it looks great, as long as you have the bandwidth to sustain a stream of a video feed, what you get is totally worth it. now if someone would start selling real CABLE over the web, ( not slingshot ) but I don't know get contracts with MTV, FOX, VH1, ABC, CBS, NBC, Discovery etc etc. and send their live feed at what 500-2000KB/s that would really end up replacing cable TV.

and personally I think that joost is one of the pioneers on that field, I mean it would be awesome to pay your internet, a high speed connection and then pay well 20-30us$ a month to get 40-50 channels, I know akimbo did something like this and broke but maybe because of instead of using a PC they sold a box, that killed them but right now we can plug our PC's to our TVs and with slim clients and even linux or small distributions of XP ( like PE ) we could achieve this ( and I am not talking about IPTV )

we have to see what the future has in store for us.

see you later.

today it is the surgery

ok today is my daughter's surgery everything will be ok, and well of course one is a tad scared, but that's normal, as I told my daughter if you where not scared you won't be human. that applies to myself as well, I woke up kinda early and I have not slept much.

anyhow it's at 1pm, she'll be here at around 3pm to eat icecream.

bye for now.

hi Me again...

My head is all over the place, my oldest daughter has a surgery on wensday and well I am worried, you know as any other dad would be. today we had to take some blood samples from her but it was almost impossible, ( her mom was with her for a change ) but tomorrow she'll give it another try, and if it does not work, then I'll do it.

ok Lately I have been watching an Anime series called "Death Note", it's not my kind of anime, I have to say, it's somewhat dark, considering what I like to watch or what I normally watch regarding anime, but i have been seeing it anyhow ( normally I like stuff like Ranma 1/2 or Girls Bravo, or what I think is my favorite of all time Onegai Teacher ) anyhow this one is interesting.

I won't discuss the plot of it here, because I REALLY REALLY hate spoilers, ( they piss me off ) but I have to say it makes you think about stuff, about power, and all that.

ok I have been also doing some research about my Anxiety/Agoraphobia, Earlier this year I decided to give up trying to get cured, but now I have a new daughter on her way and well my other 2 daughters and my Girlfriend, so I thought I might give it another shot.

first of all, well a few months ago I was doing a lot of Buddhist meditation, there I learned about what really is anxiety.

at least for myself, but I guess other people could have the same, anxiety is not a feeling by itself, nope, far from it, when you have panic or anxiety as far as I have felt or seen I can describe it as a complete shock of your body emotions, that lead to having panic.

so I know there is not just one feeling involved, that is why it is so hard to explain what makes you feel anxious or panicky ( what makes you feel is not the same as what you feel )

Now since sometimes during my meditation I got panicked, and if you know about meditation you are supposed to study what you feel and feel it, so I was able to see a chimera of feelings just gathering up and becoming overwhelming and then taking over my sense of peace.

the one in my case that has the most "force" seems to be the lack of self confidence, not self esteem but self confidence, and when you evaluate it from the point of view of an agoraphobic it somewhat makes sense.

and agoraphobic needs a safe place and or a safe person, that person gives you support support to carry your own persona, now if you had self confidence you would not need that "safe" place or "safe" person, right.

so this time around I am going to focus my therapy on building self confidence first, actually when you think about behavioral therapy, like exposure, it makes your brain get re-wired to stop feeling anxiety, but that has not been proven to be the case, what we have proved really is that people with high exposure, just feel less anxious. but lets think it from a self confidence POV.

if you are able to be alone on a situation that normally would cause you anxiety and you can "overcome" it, and you do it over and over and over, is not like you are building anxiety defenses, nope, believe me i have been there. you just manage to control it better.

now, if you not only get that exposition but also get to believe that you are a confident person, and that you can carry your own weight, that I think is the exit to anxiety with agoraphobia.

( this is all based on empirical research observing myself )

but it all seems to fit so much in place, that I think that after 16 years I have hitted the root of this spot on. I hope I am right, because if I am this will be the end of this for me, the anxiety.

I will share at another time more about what I believe are my "discoveries" about anxiety. for now actually to write this is causing me to get anxious, so I guess everything will be happening in due time.

ty for reading.

Cyber Racism ...

ok I love youtube, actually I do have a blog where I post some of the nicest videos I have found on youtube, I think it rocks, anyhow we all know that there have been other services based on youtube that have emerged all over the net, one of them is called VEOH, I do not live on USA, ( believe me this is relevant for this ). ok anyhow, I used veoh since it started, I liked to watch anime, and videos there, it was a kool site, but then one day I went to veoh, and what did I find. I could not even log in VEOH, not even open the main page I just get a note:

Veoh is no longer available in .
If you are not in or you think you have received this message in error, please report the issue below.

how kool, it seems that since I am not a USA resident I can't log in Veoh Anymore, well I went online searching about this ( at first it thought it was only my country), but SURPRISE, Veoh blocked access to people of 164Countries claiming that they are not a big enough audience ( well others say that because Veoh is supported by sponsors the ==clicks== of those 164 countries do not cover the usage of bandwith )

but anyhow the real issue here is, that is just a form of racism or Xenophobia, lets give a real life example, lets say there's a place in what... California, they are giving free balloons, and there's a line, ok you go there with your kids and make the line, at the end they ask you for your ID, or any document that states where you live.

so you present it, and they say ok no no, look you are from a poor neighborhood, we will not give you the free balloons, this are just for people that live on hollywood... that would piss you off or not ? ( I guess so )

But this case is even worst, they don't even ASK you for an ID to know where you live, they SPY on you, they check your IP against a database to know if you are worthy ! ( that's just sick )

I know that there is the issue about Digital Rights Management of content and all that, but they could have managed it in a smarter way not just blocking out more than half of the world.

for instance I also use another service like veoh or youtube, called JOOST, ok anyone from anywhere can download their client, surf their pages, and also watch their videos, now I have to say some videos are BLOCKED, yes but I mean it's ok, they explain because of Rights those videos are not available in your area, that I do understand, they offer a service, and they have to abide to the law, and they explain why, and well they offer respect to the people.

like imagine again the balloon situation, they can't give you the flashy balloon, because they are not allowed to, but you can still get a plain white balloon. that's ok in my book, not 100% but it's better than just kicking you to the curve.

ABC, also does it in a VEOHISH manner, they have full episodes of their series online but you can only watch them if you live in the USA.

I love USA, they say it is a country of equality and freedom ! and they are the first people to BLOCK others from the WORLD WIDE WEB to access content...

it just ROCKS, WTG guys...

hello.

Hi, I have had blogs on the past, but they are somewhat pointed towards specific topics, I figured out I need a blog space to post whatever comes to my head, independent of anything.

If I think it I might just write about it.

My name... I guess it's not important and it would be easy for you to find it ( VERY easy ) but this time I rather choose to be just another joe on the web.

I'm currently 32yo, will be 33 soon, ( I really don't like the number 33 ) anyhow, I work online, basically on Second Life, I "script" there, ( SL scripting is the programming language that makes thing become alive inside second life )

there I like to make utilities, toys and anything I fill that can full fill a need, normally my needs, and it seems that my needs are global, because I have had luck placing my products.

I have a condition called agoraphobia, so basically I do all my work online because, currently I can't go out of the house to get a "Real Life job" but I don't complain, I don't make millions but I am my own boss.

I have an ultra beautiful and awesome Girlfriend, she is the best, most of my life revolves around her, I also have 2 daughters ( and one on her way ) they are very lovable little girls, the light of my life.

I also have my other family mom, dad, aunts uncles, the works, they are nice people, I don't relate to them as much but they are kool.

people call me smart, I don't like that label but they still do, I think being smart is a bit of a lot of different things, and I don't fit in there, just partially, that's why I don't really like that tag.

anyhow besides that I love computers, and not only PC's but anything related to them, like Xbox, PlayStations, Cell Phones, PDA's you name it I like it.

I love to know how things really work, and how to make the most of them, so you could say I like to "hack" but not on the sense of "malicious hacker" but I just like knowledge.

one day I might be reading about Linux, the next day about Bluetooth, then about satellites, well you name it and if I find it even remotely interesting most likely I will get informed as much as possible about it.

sometimes I just read for the sake of knowledge because well you know sometimes you don't have the equipment to test everything but still that does not changes the fact that something is interesting.

I have coined a term, many many years ago... "Technocracy" a compound word between technology and democracy, personally it has a double sense, meaning all technology should be open to the people, and second, that we are ruled by a technology oriented world.

anyhow as I said before here I'll be writing about the things I do, and learn, about myself, my life and whatever I feel like.

Ty for reading.